Word Inflation (percentage count)

Once upon a time, a football coach had a brilliant thought and said, "Now, lads, we're not beaten yet. I know you've given everything, a hundred per cent, but now I'm asking for just a little bit more. I know you've got it in you. Dig deep and give me that extra ten per cent and we can win this!" Wow, great new phrase and somehow so true. But good enough (satisfactory) just isn't good enough nowadays. Soon it was 120% and then coaches and players and Chancellors of the Exchequers, allegedly, were asking for 1000%, a million, a billion per cent. Oh, where will it all end, Clydesdale?

All must have prizes / AMHP Syndrome

This is related to word inflation, I think, and to societies that are focused on surface, presentation and marketing. In education (and New Labour started it, not the Nasty Party who are in charge now) being good is just not good enough and satisfactory, well, that's disgraceful and "special measures" are called for. No, all must have prizes (except the failing teachers) and so all must be outstanding - otherwise we'll sack everyone, bring in new contracts (without benefits, pensions etc) and rebrand the school / institution - that should do it.

Ludwig II

This is probably a widespread one - maybe you'll let us know, but don't swamp us with queries today, we've got visitors - only you, reader! Do you just say "Vicar?" to mean "Would you like another cup of tea, dear?" You don't, Transatlantic followers? Well, I'm pretty sure nearly everyone does over here.

Ludwig

Like many couples, Clydesdale and I have a shorthand of private phrases. Sometimes it's just a spoonerism or an abbreviation. C is rather (or I might say over-) conscious of weight and figure and has even been known to tell me I should lose some lbs, whereas I'm known for being thin to the point of painfulness and yet, indeed, a "fine figure of a man" - or woman, no, I'm not revealing which Jefferson is. So (not the ubiquitous, the ever-spreading "so", but the old-fashioned one), sometimes, on the train, for example, (yes, ok, too  many brackets & commas, stylists),?, C will nudge me and just say "FFM" or "FFW". And, if one of us snores at night, all that is said (as the elbow is administered) is "Ludwig". Yes, you're ahead of me, "Roll over, Beethoven". Oh, dear, now I've revealed it to the Twittersphere. Do you say that as well? Discretion please, reader.

Mute Points

Has anyone else heard people say "It's a mute point"? Is it an East Anglian thing (hypercorrection?) or is it more general?

Between he, for we - pooh!

I'm a big fan of Stewart Lee and enjoy his contributions in The Observer when he takes over David Mitchell's column. This week he was being satirical and ironic about the Olympics and the Rings. Partly because of the toilet humour of much of it I wondered if his use of "we" was also a joke in "to we satirists". I don't think so, as he has written it before in this column: I suppose it is an established phrase. On the Media Show last week a Guardian columnist said "to we licence-payers". Is it a media thing or general, perhaps a sub-/conscious feeling that "me", "us" and even "him" are somehow second-class or suspect pronouns? Is it only sports commentators who say things like "between he and X"?

Yes. No. Absolutely. 2012

I asked some of my younger friends a year or so ago if they'd noticed people saying "Yes. No." to agree with something. They weren't aware of it, although I thought they, like most people under fifty (45?), did it themselves. I'm glad to see that the excellent BBC TV Olympic satire "2012" often has people say it, along with all sorts of current media and PR speak, "We gotta move up a level, guys", "It's all good", "You so have" etc. Of course people in the US have already written books about this sort of thing. There's even one called, I hear, "Yeh. No. Totally." Anyone remember the old "Yes / No Interlude"? "Are you ready?" "Yes." BONG!